Sunday, January 24, 2010

The Car

Ya'll are gonna love this one -
So we all know that my Dad has this thing with cars....it's a collectors type thing. That in and of itself doesn't sound too bad except that his collectors type thing usually leads to conversations such as this:
Me calling Dad, while driving away in one such car -
"Hey....ummm, you know there are 3 different dashboard lights on right now, right? Is that normal?"
Dad -
"Oh yea, that's normal. I like to keep lights on to make sure they work. (while uproariously laughing) And watch out for the windshield wipers, they spontaneously turn themselves on, that's normal too. And keep an eye out for the power brakes, sometimes they just don't work..really, you'll get a nice leg workout when that happens."
Me -
"What about the power steering? It feels like I'm wrestling an alligator to make a left turn..."
Dad -
"About that, it comes and goes...kinda like the windshield wipers."
Me -
"perfect."

Feast your eyes on said car:


Looks nice right? Riiiight.

All the issues listed above I inheireted.
The following I grew all by myself:
A few months ago I was at the grocery store, I shut the truck and the license plate fell off. On the ground. It's currently propped up in the back glass.


On my way to work on Monday – The driver’s side window fell off track and is currently being held up with wedges stuck in the door.


And guess what happened on my way to work Thursday, when it was raining like hell – my windshield wiper flew off….Like the entire blade thing (not just the rubber part) was dangling from the arm.
Thankfully I was only a few blocks from the house so I circled back around and creeped home without wipers then cursed my way into figuring out how to reattach it while holding the umbrella over my head with my chin…I looked like a damn circus act. It's still attached but I don't trust it.

I mean really, you just have to laugh, it's so ridiculous.

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