Sunday, March 28, 2010

"I'm gonna write you a letter."

I stole that title from Mike's parents.  When they are not pleased with each other, this phrase always makes an appearance and I love it. 
Completely unrelated to that story is this:
Today we received this letter in the mail -
Very official looking and scary.

This lovely letter is from Metro Government of Nashville and Davidson County, Department of Codes Administration.  Great.
We have been "notified as owner" of our house of the following violations:
Section 16.24.330 - Accessory Structures: All accesory structures, including detached garages, fences, and walls, shall be maintained structurally sound, in good repair, and in an otherwise safe, clean and sanitary condition.
Section  16.24.330 - Open Storage: It is inlawful to store in the open area of tha yard or structure, trash, rubbish, furniture, appliances, automobile parts, including dead trees, weeds and garbage, etc (Junk, Trash, and Debris).
That is a verbatim quote of the code law from the letter. 
And what exactly are they talking about, you ask.  It's this:

Our delapidated carport.

Yes, it looks gross.  Yes, there is a fridge, a window, a shopping cart, a trash can full of metal, and about 1000 square feet of tile in there.  I know, Metro, I know, I HATE it too.
But for the love of the Golden Cow, today is the first nice day we've had since we moved into this place.  I cannot believe that you honestly think we should have been out there in 12 degree weather and 6 inches of snow taking care of this.  Nevermind the fact that a whole lot of that "junk, trash, and debris" was left by the previous owners.  Thanks.
Here's another doozy of a quote for you:
Therefore, you are to have the violation or cause removed and/or corrected before April 26, 2010.
Removed? Right, b/c we have about $8k lying around just burning a hole in our bank accounts for this very purpose. 
And the deadline...seriously?  Sorry but we're a little busy trying to work on the inside of the house Where We LIVE.  And plan a wedding.  And work full time jobs. 

So Thank You Metro Nashville Codes Department.  I'm gonna write you a letter.

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